methods of education

benefiting from environment, genetics and utilizing them in choosing the wife

genetics plays an important role in defining the character of the child before birth ([1]). it shapes the physical and psychological nature of the child by transferring qualities and traits from parents and grandparents to children and next generations. so, the importance of genetics in shaping the character is vital. this is why, choosing the proper wife or husband is essential in terms of health and character to give birth to healthy children. it is clearly illustrated in what the prophet muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “choose the right place for your nutfa [sperm] and get married to an equivalent partner” (narrated by ibnmajah). ibn abi shayba, ibn majah, al-hakim, al-diya' al-maqdisi, ibn `adi and others narrate from anas ibn malik (ra) and the mother of the believers aisha (ra) that the prophet (peace be upon him) said: “choose well where your seeds will go.”  aisha's narration continues: “marry suitable matches (akfa') and give your daughters away to suitable matches.” one version of the hadith adds: “for women give birth to [boys] the likes of their brothers and [girls] the likes of their sisters.”

there is a saying that discourages marrying from relatives, it is mistakenly known as a hadith, but it is verified and proved that it is a saying by umar ibnul-khattab (ra) ([2]). when umar (ra) saw the weakness of some tribes and found out that they only marry inside their bloodline, namely from their relatives, he told them to marry outsiders who are not related by blood to strengthen their bloodline. some doctors say that endogamy leads to weakness and genetic diseases ([3]). yet, premarital checkups and medical tests can help in finding out whether the man and woman are genetically suitable for marriage.

the parent/educator can rectify inherited negative traits by direction, guidance and righteous upbringing, or at least lessen these negativities ([4]). so, the parent can turn the bad inherited nature into good manners. for example, by training and positive upbringing the parent can turn impudence into boldness and courage for the sake of righteousness.

as for environment, it includes the house, school, street and all the community or society. if we really want the child to be raised according to islam, we have to prepare and provide a proper islamic environment to the child where teachings of islam are applied and followed ([5]). this is why, it is discouraged to live in the disbelievers societies, and we encourage those who have to work or study in countries of disbelievers to live among muslim communities where the teachings of islam are fulfilled and where there is modesty and proper manners. this helps the household to achieve its duty of raising the child in the best manner.

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([1]) manhaj al-tarbiyah al-islamiyah by mohamed qutb: page 325.

([2]) tarbiyat al-awlad fil islam by abdullah naseh elwan: 1/44.

([3]) kaifa yourabi al-muslim waladu by mohamed said mawlouy: page 94, kaifa nourabi awladan islamyan by mohi el-deen abdul hamid: page 30.

([4]) manhaj al-tarbiyah al-islamiyah by mohamed qutb: page 326.

([5]) manhaj al-tarbiyah al-islamiyah by mohamed qutb: page 330.