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Under category How do we educate our Children?
Creation date 2010-03-01 03:07:45
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education by reward

using reward and punishment (carrot and stick policy) is a basic element of developing the child’s behavior, disciplining and asserting social morals ([1]).

 

it has an essential role at the first stage of the child’s life, because the duties and tasks that he has to make for the first time are difficult at the beginning and need a motive for him to do them till they becomes easy and natural ([2]). using reward teaches him behaviors and habits that continue all over his lifetime, they are hard to abandon when he becomes an adult or at any stage of his life.

 

 

there are two kinds of reward: moral and materialistic rewards. reward also has different degrees such as a warm smile of acceptance and contentment, a kiss, a hug, a compliment or praise and all the gestures that would cheer up the child and give him a rewarding feeling to continue work.

 

 

some educators think that giving moral reward has the priority and is more beneficial than giving materialistic reward, so that we elevate the spirit of the child from loving or waiting for materialistic or physical reward ([3]). some of them think that reward should be of the same nature of the good deed, if it is a physical or materialistic good deed, we should reward him physically or materially and if it is a moral act, then the reward should be a moral one ([4]).

 

* there are certain measures that guarantee the success of the parent/educator such as:

 

* reward should be the first step then we should take the child to the second and more important level which is reminding him of the reward of allah in the present life and in the hereafter. for example, parents should encourage the child to behave in good manners, then they should say to him “act in good manners so that your mother and father love you”, then to take him to a following step by saying to him “act in good manners so that almighty allah loves you and be pleased with you.” this graduation suits the mentality of the child and his development ([5]).

 

 

* reward should not be a requirement to work, we should be careful of not rewarding the child for doing a task he must do like eating or arranging his room. reward should be offered only after the child does a good deed or behaves in a good manner ([6]). reward should not be a future promise to the child, for example if he does a good deed he will be rewarded, because this way the promise turns to be a precondition to fulfill or do such a deed.

 

 

* reward should be directly after the child’s good deed or praised behavior ([7]) at the early childhood. the parent should keep his promise to the child, so that the child does not learn to lie and be committed to his promise. at the late childhood, we can postpone the reward a bit after promising him, so that he learns to do good deeds on the long run like how muslims should work for the afterlife, also giving a reward on the long run makes him forget any tiredness and becomes happy for the long waited reward.

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([1]) al-thawab wa al-iqab by ahmed ali bidewi: page 61.

([2]) manhaj al-tarbiyah al-islmiyah by mohamed qutb: page 374.

([3]) al-thawab wa al-iqab by ahmed ali bidewi: page 62-65.

([4]) akhtaa’ sha’ia by om-hassan al helw: page 64.

([5]) manhaj al-tarbiyah al-islmiyah by mohamed qutb: page 377-378.

([6]) al-thawab wa al-iqab by ahmed ali bidewi: page 61-62.

([7]) akhtaa’ tarbawiyah sha’ia by om-hassan al helw: page 67, al-mushkilat al-slukiyah by nabih al-ghabrah: page 13.




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