when a muslim man has had sexual intercourse with his wife in the legal manner and

then wishes to return another time, he should first perform wudhuu', based on the

statement of the prophet : "when one of you comes to his wife and then wishes to

return another time, let him perform wudhuu' between the 2 times (in another version,

the same wudhuu' which he performs for prayer) for verily, it will invigorate his

return." [muslim, ibn abi shaibah and others].

bathing is preferable

bathing, however, is preferable to merely making wudhuu' in such situations. abu raafi'

narrates: "that the prophet made the rounds of all his wives one night, bathing in the

house of each one. he (i.e. the narrator) asked the prophet: "couldn't you have just

bathed once (i.e. at the end)?” the prophet answered: "this way is purer, cleaner and

better". [aboo daawood, an-nasaa'ee: hasan in "al-'ishrah", and others].

the bathing of husband and wife together

it is permissible for the husband and wife to bath together in the same place even though

he sees her private parts, and she sees his. this is established by a number of authentic

hadith, among them:

on the authority of 'aa'ishah (radiallahu anha) who said: "i used to bathe with the

prophet from a single container of water which was placed between us such that our

hands collided inside it. he used to race me such that i would say: `leave some for me,

leave some for me!' she added: `we were in a state of janaba (i.e. the state of having

slept together).'" [al-bukharee and muslim].

on the authority of mu'aawiya ibn haida, who said: "i said: `o messenger of allaah,

which of our nakedness is allowed, and of which must we beware?' the prophet

answered, "guard your nakedness excpet from your wife or those whom your right

hand possesses." (so it is permissible for both spouses to look at and touch the body of

his or her companion even the private parts). he said: `o messenger of allah, what

about if the relatives live together with each other?' the prophet answered : "if you can

make sure that no one ever sees your nakedness, then do so." he said: `o messenger of

allah, what about when one is alone?' the prophet said: "allah is more deserving of

your modesty than are the people"." [ahmad, abu dawood, at-tirmidhee and others: saheeh].

[back to top]

making wudhuu' after sex and before sleeping

it is best for husband and wife not to sleep after having sex until they first perform

wudhuu'. there are various hadith about this, among them:

first: on the authority of 'aa'shah who said: "whenever the prophet wished to sleep or

eat while in a state of janaba (i.e. after having sex and before bathing), he would wash

his private parts and perform wudhuu' as for prayer." [al-bukhaaree and muslim].

second: on the authority of ibn 'umar who said: "o messenger of allah, should we go

to sleep in a state of janaba?" the prophet answered: "yes, after making wudhuu." [al-

bukhaaree and muslim]. in another version: "perform wudhuu' and wash your private

parts, and then sleep." [al -bukhaaree and muslim]. and, in another version: "yes, you can

perform wudhuu', sleep, and bathe whenever you want." [muslim and al-baihaqi]. and, in

still another version: "yes, and perform wudhuu' if you wish." (this last version proves

that this wudhuu' is not obligatory.) [ibn khuzima and ibn hibban: saheeh].

third: on the authority of 'ammaar ibn yaasir, the prophet said: "there are three

which the angels will never approach: the corpse of a disbeliever; a man who wears

perfume of women; and, one who has had sex until he performs wudhuu'." [abu

dawood, ahmad and others: hasan].

the ruling of this wudhuu'

this wudhuu' is not obligatory, but is very highly and definitely commendable. this (i.e.

its not being obligatory) is based on the hadith narrated by 'umar in which he asked the

prophet: "should we go to sleep in a state of janaba?" to which the prophet answered:

"yes, and perform wudhuu' if you wish." [ibn hibbaan: saheeh]. this is also supported by

other hadith, among them a hadith narrated by 'aa'ishah who said: "the prophet used to

sleep in a state of janaba without having touched water, until he would get up later and

bathe." [ibn abi shaiba, at-tirmidhee, abu daawood and others: saheeh].

in another version narrated by 'aa'ishah , she said: ""he used to spend the night in a

state of janaba until bilal came in the morning to make the adhaan. then, he would

get up, bathe while i looked at the water dripping from his head, and go out. then, i

would hear his voice in the fajr prayer. then, he would remain fasting." mutarrif said:

"i said to aamir: in the month of ramadhaan?" he said: "yes, in ramadhaan and in

other than ramadhaan." [ibn abi shaiba, ahmad and others: saheeh].

making tayammum in a state of janab a instead of wudhuu'

it is also permissible to make tayammum sometimes instead of wudhuu' before sleeping.

this is based on a hadith of 'aa'ishah in which she said: "when the prophet was in a

state of janaba and wished to sleep, he used to make wudhuu' or tayammum." [al-

baihaqi: hasan]

bathing before sleeping is perferable

bathing however, is perferable to any of the above- mentioned possibilities as is clear in

the hadith of `abullaah ibn qais who said: "i asked 'ai'ishah : "what did the prophet do

when in a state of janaba? did he bathe before sleeping or sleep before bathing?" she

answered: "he did all of those things. sometimes he bathe and then slept. and

sometimes he performed wudhuu' and then slept." i said: "praise be to allah who

made things flexible." [muslim, ahmad and abu `auwaana].

the prohibition of sex when she is menstruating

it is forbidden for a muslim man to have sexual intercourse with his wife when she is

menstruating. this is clear in the following verse of the qur'an:

"they ask thee concerning women's courses. say: they

are a hurt and a pollution: so keep away from women in

their courses, and do not approach them until they are

clean. but when they have purified themselves, ye may

approach them in any manner, time, or place ordained for

you by allah. for allah loves those who turn to him

constantly and he loves those who keep themselves pure

and clean." [al-baqarah, 2:222]

there are also hadith about this, among them:

first: "whoever has sexual intercourse with a menstruating woman, or a woman in

her anus, or approaches a soothsayer and believes what he is told has disbelieved in

that which was revealed to muhammad."

second: on the authority of anas ibn malik, who said: "when one of their women has

their period, the jews used to put her out of the house, and they would not eat, drink, or

sleep with her in the house. the prophet was asked about this, and allaah revealed the

verse:

"they ask thee concerning women's courses. say: they

are a hurt and a pollution: so keep away from women in

their courses, ...

then the prophet said: "be with them in the house, and do everything except for

intercourse itself." the jews said: "this man wants to leave nothing which we do

without doing something different." then, asyad ibn hudair said: "o messenger of

allah, verily the jews says such-and-such, shoudl we not then have sexual intercourse

during menstruation?" the prophet's face changed such that they thought that he was

enraged with them, so they left. as they were coming out, they saw a gift of milk being

brought to the prophet. the prophet then sent someone after them to give them a drink of

milk, so they felt that he was not actually angry with them." [muslim, abu 'auwaana and

abu daawood].

the penitence of one who has sex during menses

whoever is overcome by desire and has sexual intercourse with his wife when she is

menstruating and before she becomes clean must give the value of one dinar's weight of

gold or about 4.25 grams (4.2315 to be more precise), or half that amount. this is based

on a hadith narrated by 'abdullaah ibn 'abbaas from the prophet in relation to one who

enters his wife while she is on her period as follows: "let him give one dinar in charity,

or one half dinar." [at-tirmidhee, abu dawood, at-tabaraani and others: saheeh].

what is permissible when she is on her periods

it is allowed for him to enjoy pleasure with his wife in any way except for her private

parts when she is on her period. there are several hadiths about this:

first: "and do everything except intercourse itself." [muslim, abu 'auwaana and aboo

daawood]

second: on the authority of 'aa'ishah who said: "when we were on our periods, the

prophet used to order us to put on a waist cloth that her husband can then lie with

her." one time she said: "... her husband can then fondle and caress her." [al-bukhaaree,

muslims and others].

third: on the authority of one of the wives of the prophet who said: "when the prophet

wanted something from one of his wives who was on her period, he put a cloth over her

private parts, and then did whatever he wanted." [abo daawood: saheeh]

when is it allowed to resume sexual activity after menses?

when she becomes clean of any menstrual blood, and the flow stops completely, it is

allowed for them to resume sexual activity after she washes the place where the blood

had been, or performs wudhuu', or takes a complete bath. whichever of these three

alternatives she does makes it allowed for them to resume sexual activity, based on

allaah's statement in the qur'an:

"but when they have purified themselves, ye may

approach them in any manner, time, or place ordained for

you by allah. for allah loves those who turn to him

constantly and he loves those who keep themselves pure

and clean."


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