education by punishment

recent studies proved the need to use punishment when necessary by the parent/educator. as, the child whose parents always act lenient and forgiven no matter how big his mistake is, will keep commit the same mistake and upset his parents ([1]). punishment, when needed, rectifies the attitude and improves manners of the child. punishing the child should be gradual, starting from frowning, giving an angry look, withholding from the child and not to deal with him for a while, renouncing, grounding or restraining the child from doing activities he usually likes to do, not giving him an allowance or pocket money and finally the last resort is spanking or beating.

yet, the parent/educator should avoid spanking or beating the child as much as he can. if he has to do so, after applying all other methods of education with no result, then he should use this method when the child is old enough to know his mistake and realize the reason for receiving such punishment ([2]).

* measures of punishment:

* if the child makes the mistake for the first time, he should not be punished, but rather to be directed and disciplined through advices ([3]).

* the child should be punished immediately after he makes the mistake. the parent/educator should clarify to him his fault and explain to him the reason of punishing him. as, the child might not remember that he made a mistake and that is why he is being punished, he might get confused and feels wronged if he does not understand the reason for the punishment or discipline if they have not been applied immediately when he made the mistake ([4]).

* if the child makes a clear mistake in front of his siblings and household members, then he should be punished in front of them, because such a policy would achieve an educational function for the whole family ([5]).

* if the punishment is spanking or beating, then it should be preceded by warning and threatening. the parent/educator should avoid beating the child on the head, chest, face or abdomen. if he uses a stick, it should be light and thin not thick ([6]), it also should not be hard or dry. the beating should be one time to three times, if he did not reach puberty yet and it should not be in one place of the body. if the child mentions allah’s name and asks for allah’s help, then beating should be stopped at once ([7]) because this would instill and set the majesty of allah’s name in the child and the glorification of the creator.

* the parent/educator should be the one who beats the child as a punishment, not a sibling or someone else in the household, because that might cause animosity between the child and his siblings ([8]).

* the parent/educator should not punish the child when he is angry; because he might exaggerate in the way he applies the punishment which would make the child feel wronged and oppressed ([9]).

* the parent/educator should not punish or beat the child if the child senses, realizes his mistake and feels remorse. if he is fully aware of his bad deed, admits it and apologizes then it is enough ([10]).

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([1]) dr. spock talks with mothers by dr. benjamin spock: page 25-26.

([2]) mas'uliyat al-ab al-muslim fi tarbiyat al-walad by adnan baharth: page 86.

([3]) kaifa nurabi tiflan by mohamed ziad hamdan: page 32-36.

([4]) al-thawab wa al-iqab by ahmed ali bediwi: page 63-64.

([5]) asaleeb al-rasul fil tarbiyah by naguib al-amer: page 33.

([6]) tarbiyat al-awlad fil islam by abdullah naseh elwan: 2/727-728.

([7]) al-tarbiyah by al-ahwany: 135, quoting manhaj al-tarbiyah al-nabawiyah by mohamed nour swaid: page 327.

([8]) tarbiyat al-awlad fil islam by abdullah naseh elwan: 2/727-728.

([9]) kaifa nurabi tiflan by mohamed ziad hamdan: page 32-36.

([10]) kaifa nurabi tiflan by mohamed ziad hamdan: page 32-36.